My Child Has Anxiety": 7 Warning Signs and What You Can Do as a Parent

“My Kid Refuses to Go to School” — And What Nobody Tells You About Childhood Anxiety

Most parents know the scene all too well: it’s 7 a.m., the backpack is by the door, and your child is on the floor in tears, clutching their stomach, insisting they absolutely cannot go to school today. Or maybe it’s more subtle than that — they’ve stopped wanting to hang out with friends, they’re not sleeping well, or they’ve become unusually clingy in a way that feels different from before.

Is it a tantrum? Are they being manipulative? Or is something else going on?

In many of these situations, what’s actually happening has a name: childhood anxiety. And while that might sound alarming, the first thing I want you to know is that you’re not alone — and this is something that can get better.

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What Is Childhood Anxiety, and Why Is It More Common Than You Think?

Childhood anxiety isn’t a modern invention or the result of overprotective parenting. It’s a real emotional response — one that lives in your child’s body and mind — and it can show up at any age, even in toddlers and very young children.

It’s actually one of the most common reasons families come to see me. According to the World Health Organization, anxiety disorders are the most prevalent mental health condition in childhood globally, and many cases go unnoticed because adults mistake them for “phases,” bad behavior, or shyness.

At its core, anxiety is an internal alarm system. It’s useful when it’s warning us about real danger. The problem is when that alarm goes off constantly — even when there’s no actual threat — and starts getting in the way of your child’s daily life: at school, at home, in their friendships.

The most important thing I want you to take away: anxiety is not a character flaw, and it’s not a sign that you’ve failed as a parent. It’s something that’s happening to your child — not something your child is.

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7 Signs of Childhood Anxiety Worth Knowing

The signs of childhood anxiety don’t always look the way we expect. There isn’t always obvious crying or fear. Sometimes anxiety disguises itself as physical symptoms or behavioral shifts that can be easy to misread. Here are the most common ones I see:

1. Frequent physical complaints with no clear medical cause. Stomachaches, headaches, nausea — especially before situations like school, a birthday party, or a test.

2. Difficulty separating from you. Beyond what’s developmentally expected, your child cries intensely or refuses to stay with other trusted adults, even familiar ones.

3. Sleep problems. They struggle to fall asleep, have frequent nightmares, or insist on sleeping with you even at an age when that’s no longer typical.

4. Irritability or anger that seems to come out of nowhere. In children, anxiety often doesn’t look like fear — it shows up as frustration, moodiness, or crying easily.

5. Avoiding new situations or places. They refuse to try new activities, meet new people, or will only go somewhere if you’re right there with them.

6. Repetitive “what if” questions about the future or danger. “What if something happens to you?” “What if I get lost?” “What if…?” — questions that don’t settle no matter how many times you answer them.

7. Changes in school performance or friendships. They’re easily distracted, avoid participating in class, or have pulled away from kids they used to be close with.

If you recognized your child in two or more of these, that doesn’t mean something is terribly wrong. It means it’s worth paying attention — and that your child could use some extra support.

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What You Can Do at Home Right Now

Before jumping to appointments and assessments, there are concrete things you can start doing today:

• Validate their feelings without minimizing or catastrophizing. Instead of “it’s not a big deal” or panicking yourself, try: “I understand that feels really scary. I’m right here with you.”

• Create predictable routines. Anxiety thrives on uncertainty. Consistent mealtimes, bedtimes, and daily rhythms give your child a sense of safety and control.

• Teach them to breathe. It sounds simple, but it works. Practice slow breathing together: inhale for 4 counts, hold for 2, exhale for 4. Make it a game, not a chore.

• Avoid reinforcing avoidance. When your child is scared of something, every instinct tells you to protect them from it. But consistently avoiding what frightens us makes fear grow. Help them face situations gradually, at a pace that feels manageable.

• Check in with your own anxiety levels. Kids are emotional sponges. If you’re running on stress and worry, they pick up on it. This isn’t about pretending everything is fine — it’s about modeling how to navigate emotions.

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When Is It Time to Seek Professional Help?

Some signs tell me it’s time to go beyond home strategies:

• The anxiety has been intense for more than four weeks.
• It’s affecting their school performance or their relationships with other kids.
• Your child is avoiding more and more situations, and their world is getting smaller.
• They’re having panic episodes: uncontrollable crying, feeling like they can’t breathe, shaking.
• You’ve tried everything you can think of and nothing seems to be helping.

Reaching out for professional support isn’t a sign of failure. It’s one of the most loving things you can do for your child.

If you’d like to talk about what your family is going through, feel free to reach out via WhatsApp to schedule a first session. I offer sessions in English for expats and English speakers living in Mexico City, and I’m happy to help you figure out the next steps.

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How Play Therapy Helps Children With Anxiety

When I work with children who are struggling with anxiety, I rarely sit them down and ask “so, how are you feeling?” — because that’s not how kids process things. Play is their natural language.

Through play therapy, children can:

• Express emotions they don’t yet have words for.
• Practice scary situations in a safe, contained space.
• Build internal resources: confidence, tolerance for uncertainty, emotional regulation.
• Reframe difficult experiences from a place of strength rather than fear.

In the narrative therapy approach I practice, we also work on separating your child from the problem. Anxiety is not who your child is — it’s something that has been affecting their life. Together, we can work toward it having much less power over them.

Parents are part of the process too — not as the ones who “caused” the problem, but as the most important allies in their child’s recovery.

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One Last Thing: Your Child Is Not Broken

Childhood anxiety is treatable. With the right support — at home and with professional help when needed — the vast majority of children learn to manage it and get back to living their lives fully.

If something in this article resonated with you, trust that parental instinct that brought you here. That same instinct is what will guide you toward giving your child the support they need.

When you’re ready to take the next step, I’m here. You’re welcome to message me on WhatsApp and we can talk through what’s going on. 🌿