What Is Narrative Therapy — And How It Can Help You Rewrite Your Story

Have you ever felt like your entire life could be summed up in one painful sentence? “I’m a failure.” “I’m terrible at relationships.” “I’m a bad parent.” These are the phrases we repeat to ourselves so often that they start to feel like absolute truth — like the most accurate description of who we are.

What I want to share with you today is this: that story, no matter how real it feels, is not your whole story. And there’s a form of therapy that works with exactly that — with the narratives we carry, the ones that hold us back, and the ones that are still waiting to be told.

Let’s talk about narrative therapy: what it is, how it works, and why it might be exactly what you need.

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Where Narrative Therapy Comes From

Narrative therapy was developed in the 1980s by two therapists: Michael White, from Australia, and David Epston, from New Zealand. They were asking a question that was genuinely radical at the time: What if people’s problems aren’t located inside them, but in the stories that society, family, and culture have told them about themselves?

From that question, they built a therapeutic approach that is now practiced around the world — and that has proven especially powerful for working with anxiety, depression, grief, identity struggles, parenting challenges, and family conflict.

In my practice as a narrative therapist here in Mexico City, I’ve seen firsthand how this approach transforms the way people relate to their own experiences. Not because it erases pain, but because it repositions it: what once felt like who you are becomes something that happened to you.

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The Core Principle: You Are Not the Problem

This is, for me, the heart of narrative therapy — and what makes it so freeing:

The person is not the problem. The problem is the problem.

It sounds simple, but the implications are huge. When someone comes to a session saying “I’m an anxious person,” narrative therapy doesn’t start from that fixed identity. Instead, we ask: When did anxiety first show up in your life? How much space has it taken? Are there moments when you’ve been able to push back against it?

By externalizing the problem — separating it from who you are as a person — something shifts. Suddenly there’s room to move. You’re not the broken one; it’s the anxiety, the shame, the fear that has been taking up too much space in your story.

This isn’t about dodging personal responsibility. It’s about stopping the confusion between what you feel or experience and who you fundamentally are.

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Rewriting Your Story: The Power of Alternative Narratives

Imagine you’ve spent years carrying a story that says: “I have a terrible temper. I always blow up and ruin everything.” That story probably has evidence behind it — moments when you did lose your patience, relationships that got hurt, words said in anger.

But is that your whole story?

In narrative therapy, we work to find what are called alternative stories or exceptions: all those moments when you acted differently, responded with calm, held yourself together even when you wanted to explode. Those moments exist — even if the dominant story has pushed them into the background.

When we start giving voice to those moments, something changes. Not overnight, not like magic, but gradually. You begin to see yourself in a more complex, more complete way. And from that fuller picture, different choices become possible.

That process — identifying the story that’s been limiting you, questioning it, and beginning to build a new one — is quite literally rewriting your story. And yes, it’s as powerful as it sounds.

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What a Narrative Therapy Session Actually Looks Like

A narrative therapy session can feel quite different from what you might expect if you’ve been to more traditional therapy. It’s not an interrogation or a lecture. It’s more of a guided conversation, shaped by specific questions designed to open up new ways of thinking.

Here’s what you might experience:

• Externalizing questions: “What would you call this feeling? If guilt were a character in your life, what would it look like?” These questions help create distance between the problem and your identity.
• Exploring the dominant story: When did this narrative start? Who told it first? How has it been shaping your decisions?
• Looking for exceptions: Moments when the problem didn’t have so much power. What did you do differently then? What does that say about you?
• Re-authoring: Building a richer story together — one that holds both the struggles and the strengths, the hard moments and the ones you’re proud of.
• Therapeutic documents (sometimes): Letters, lists, written reflections that help anchor the new story. These are especially wonderful when working with children.

The pace and depth of each session depend entirely on the person. There’s no fixed script, because every story is different.

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Who Is Narrative Therapy For?

One of the things I love most about this approach is how versatile it is. Narrative therapy can be helpful for:

• Adults who feel stuck in a version of themselves that no longer fits — including expats and digital nomads navigating big life transitions, identity shifts, or the disorientation of building a life in a new country.
• Children experiencing difficulties at school, at home, or with their emotions (narrative play therapy is a beautiful tool for younger kids).
• Couples who have built a shared story focused only on conflict and have lost sight of everything else.
• Families looking to reconnect around a more loving, functional shared narrative.
• Anyone going through grief, major life changes, identity questions, or anxiety.

You don’t need to be in a full-blown crisis to benefit from narrative therapy. Sometimes you simply feel that the story you’ve been telling about yourself no longer does you justice — and that’s more than enough reason to start.

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A Final Thought

We all arrive in life with a story that others began writing before we had any say: the family we were born into, the experiences we lived through, the words spoken to us at defining moments. Those stories shape us — but they don’t have to define us forever.

Narrative therapy is grounded in a deep belief in people’s capacity to reinterpret their experience and choose how they want to live. It doesn’t tell you what to do or hand you a diagnosis. It’s a space where you, with professional support, can ask yourself: Is the story I’m carrying helping me live the way I actually want to? And if the answer is no, to start writing something different.

I offer sessions in English for expats, digital nomads, and English speakers living in Mexico City. If something in this article resonated with you, I’d love to support you in that process. Feel free to reach out on WhatsApp to schedule a first session — no pressure, no commitment, just a conversation.

Your story isn’t finished. And the part still to come might be the most interesting of all.